computer savvy

You Know You Are Too Serious About Computers If...

• If you did an error-free installation of Windows 7.

• When your modem starts smoking.

• If no one can reach you by phone since your computer is always online.

• If you log-off your system because it's time to go to work.

• If you call in sick because you found a great new WWW site.

• If you can type your top 50 favorite web sites....by heart.

• If you can locate a particular home page without using a search engine.

• If you can write your own html page.

• If you can access more than 20 erotic no-pay sites.

• If you download more than 20Mb from a binary newsgroup...in one session.

• If while reading a magazine, you look for the Zoom icon for a better look at a photograph.

• You comment, while watching a sunset, that the image would be enhanced with 10% more magenta and a higher resolution.

• If while driving down the street, you are confused by the numbers on the houses... they do not appear to be legitimate WWW addresses.

• When someone tells you to remember something, and you look for File/Save command.

• When you discover there is no little car icon with a forward arrow on the dashboard of your car, to make it go.

• When you think the File/Kill command should apply to your system administrators.

• When you find it easier to dial-up the National Weather Service: Weather/your_town/now.html than to simply look out the window.

• When you start using phrases like: Hungry.must-eat.food.now@home.

• If you have a heart attack when you forgot to pay your phone bill and receive a "pending disconnection of service" notice.

• When you order most of what you buy.....online.

• If your fingers quit moving because you've been online for 36 hours.

• When you find yourself engaged to someone you've never actually met, except through E-mail.

• When you log-off from a session in your favorite newsgroup, and your log reads: Online time: 56 hours 24 minutes.

• If your net provider suggests you try a competitor, because you're exceeding 300 hours a month, connect time.

• When you add your third modem and dedicated phone line.

• You access Microsoft's Web page every Sunday morning from Brother Bill's sermon.

• When that 320 GB hard drive is full.

• If 3.2 GHZ is simply too slow.

• When your desk collapses under the weight of your computer peripherals.

• If you have an "online" light installed on your car to tell you when the engine is running.

• When you discover that in order to drive your car somewhere, you do not have an http:// or ftp:// address.

• If you can actually talk to the computers in your new car, and understand what they say.

• When you modify the programming of your car's computers and actually get better mileage.

• When you can access the Net, via your portable and cellular phone.

• If on the way home from work, you use your portable and cellular phone in your car, to reprogram a Tomahawk missile, in flight, and redirect it to take out the joker in the Cadillac who cut you off.

• If you try to press Alt-F4 to close your car window.

• When you put a CD-ROM in your car's player.

• When someone tells you about a great new program and you're very disappointed to find it's on TV.

• If every sentence you utter begins with, "On the Net..."

• If you put your e-mail address in the upper left-hand corner of envelopes.

• If you have your e-mail address printed on your stationery.

• When you insist on seeing the movie "The Net" for the 63rd time.

• If magazine like "InternetWorld" are of greater interest than "Playboy" or "Playgirl".

• If you maintain more than 6 e-mail addresses.

• If you use more than 20 passwords.

• If you set up your own Web page.

• If you set up a Web page for each of your kids...and your pets.

• If, instead of a phone number, you ask someone for their e-mail address.

• If you don't know anyone who DOESN'T have an e-mail address.

• If, to you, "safe sex" means doing it online.

• If you convince your mom that she HAS to get online because e-mail is so much cheaper than long distance phone charges.

• If you can write a list like this.

• If you can relate to a list like this.